Remember how uncomfortable it was talking with your kids about the “birds and the bees?” Well, talking with your parents about end-of-life decisions can feel much worse! Here are some suggestions on how to tackle this tough task.

Tips for how to start the conversation

‘Hey Mom/Dad, we want you to know that we are talking with you about this because we love you. We want to do right by you, and we want to help you to live the way you want, in your later years.’

‘Think about how you felt when you needed to take care of your parents. What were the biggest challenges you faced during that time? We want to learn from your experience so that we can do a great job of caring for you in the years to come.’

This is not the time to worry about our feelings, our time, our money, etc. We get that you don’t want to be a burden. But all that stuff is our responsibility. We want to help you in every way possible. Please let us worry about how much we can take on.’

Questions for Your Parents

What would be your ideal place to live out the rest of your years?

• Your own home?
• Someone else’s home?
• Care facility?

What hobbies or interests bring you joy? How can we help you continue to do these things in the years to come?
Would you be open to relocating to another town/state?
How do you feel about living with one of us? Why?
What are the ‘indicators’ that will let you (and us) know it’s time for more care?